It was not a great day for walking, unless fog and clammy fits your mood and you just head out. It was one of those mornings when I put on way too many clothes for this mild January morning and walked out on my usual stroll through the neighborhood then out to the greenbelt alongside our gully.
“Lord, though I don’t SEE you, I know you’re there, ” I said aloud. It was a great morning for just talking to Him out loud. All of a sudden out came my neighbor rolling her trashcan to the street for pickup. “Good morning!” we both sang out to one another. “Will you come in for coffee?” she asked. “Well, I believe I’ll pass this morning. Just out for the morning walk before I run some errands.” She laughed lightly then said, “Well, truth be told, I’m really heading out to work.” She grinned. It was all perfectly fine. I asked her what work she was heading out to this morning, knowing full well she was long into retirement. “My husband is trying to sell his business and it’s not going too well right now.” We talked about it a few minutes before she said, “But you know, our devotional this morning was on hope. We have a “hope rope” to heaven. We don’t need to be weighted down by our circumstances but keep our eyes on Him, our Hope.” I nodded in agreement and smiled. It was exactly what I had thought of saying to her. Keep our hope and eyes on Him and let the circumstances fall where they may. She had talked of his regretting that he had not sold it five years ago. “Shoulda’s are so destructive,” I responded. “That’s the past and there’s nothing we can do about it.” She nodded in agreement.
And then I remembered something I had read earlier this week. “You know, Dear Neighbor, you really can’t disappoint God. He is not surprised by what we do. After all, He made us and He knows exactly what we’re going to do before we do it!” She smiled as she began to head to the back door. It was getting closer to the time she needed to be off to work – supporting her husband in his business endeavors at this time.
I thought about what I had read in “Altar’d” by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. “You may sometimes have the feeling that God is disappointed in you. “How could He not be disappointed?” you reason. “I let Him down again and again. I promise and then I fail.”
She says, “I don’t believe God is ever disappointed in you. What does it mean to disappoint someone? it means that you have failed to meet that person’s expectations. For you to disappoint God, He would have to think you were going to behave one way, then be surprised when you behave another way. God knows you better than you know yourself. “He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:14. I had thought of this all week, and actually, it became more and more freeing as I realized that yes, God loves me immensely and knows before I take the next breath what I’m thinking or planning or going to do. And still He is with me and will never ever forsake me.
I waved at my neighbor and said a prayer for she and her husband that his business would sell to the right person and that they would be able to move in their retirement, free from the burden of his business.